Previous English skipper Lewis Moody has announced he has been found to have motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full implications of the muscle-wasting condition that took the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was a member of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and secured multiple English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast two weeks after learning he has the disease.
"There's an element of facing the future and not wanting to really process that at the moment," he said.
"It's not that I don't understand where it's progressing. We grasp that. But there is absolutely a reluctance to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, conversing with his wife Annie, explains rather he feels "at ease" as he focuses on his current welfare, his family and planning ahead for when the condition deteriorates.
"Perhaps that's shock or maybe I deal with matters uniquely, and when I have the information, it's more manageable," he continued.
Early Symptoms
Moody learned he had MND after detecting some weakness in his upper arm while exercising in the gym.
After physiotherapy failed to improve the issue, a series of scans indicated nerves in his central nervous system had been damaged by MND.
"You're presented with this diagnosis of MND and we're understandably quite affected about it, but it's rather peculiar because I feel like I'm perfectly healthy," he continued.
"I don't experience sick. I don't sense sick
"My symptoms are very minor. I have a bit of muscle loss in the hand and the shoulder region.
"I continue to be able to accomplishing anything and everything. And optimistically that will carry on for as long as is possible."
Illness Development
MND can develop quickly.
According to the organization MND Association, the disease kills a 33% of people within a twelve months and above half within two years of detection, as eating and inhalation become increasingly challenging.
Treatment can only delay decline.
"It's not me that I am upset for," added an affected Moody.
"There's grief around having to tell my mum - as an only child - and the consequences that has for her."
Family Effect
Talking from the household with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by feeling when he discussed telling his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the traumatic news, stating: "It was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two brilliant boys and that was quite heartbreaking," Moody remarked.
"We were seated on the couch in crying, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog jumped over and began licking the drops off our faces, which was somewhat amusing."
Moody explained the focus was staying in the present.
"There exists no cure and that is why you have to be so militantly focused on just embracing and appreciating each moment now," he commented.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been very fortunate that the only real decision I made when I left playing was to spend as much time with the kids as feasible. We don't get those times back."
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Elite sportspeople are excessively impacted by MND, with investigations suggesting the rate of the condition is up to 600% greater than in the broader public.
It is considered that by reducing the O2 accessible and producing injury to neural pathways, regular, intense training can initiate the condition in those inherently predisposed.
Athletic Playing Days
Moody, who won 71 England caps and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in acknowledgment of his brave, relentless style to the game.
He participated through a stress fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once caused a training-ground confrontation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he left a tackle pad and began throwing himself into tackles.
After entering as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the back of the line-out in the decisive passage of play, setting a foundation for playmaker Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to score the game-deciding drop kick.
Support Community
Moody has previously informed Johnson, who captained England to that victory, and a handful of other former colleagues about his condition, but the others will be finding out his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a time when we'll need to lean on their assistance but, at the moment, just having that sort of love and recognition that people are there is all that matters," he stated.
"The sport is such a great community.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even if it finished now, I've appreciated all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you have the opportunity to label your passion your vocation, it's one of the greatest blessings.
"Achieving this for so considerable a period with the groups that I did it with was a joy. And I am aware they will want to support in every way they can and I await having those discussions."
